Unlearning, In the fire, Dying

God is alive and His power is Real

I am realizing that the reason why I was solemn and down for weeks when I was Face to Face with Depression is because all the things that I learned and experienced before is not working right now. You see I grew up in a Christian home. My parents raised me in a Pentecostal environment. Healing and miracles were a part of my daily life.

  • We just repent and receive healing when we’re sick and we wake up all healed.
  • We pray for new clothes every school recognition day and God always provide.
  • We would pray for provision for any type of need and He always there without fail.

I lived a compromised (in short sinful) life during my high school and college days but when I finally surrendered my whole life to God when I was 23 years old, there was no turning back. I pursued healing and I have seen almost all types of healing and miracles under the sun. May it be through me or through other His Mission family members.

  • I led at least 4 missions trips with massive signs and wonders.
  • Blinds see.
  • Deaf hear.
  • Dead were raised.
  • Demons were cast out.
  • Dark clouds would obey and go so we can continue with our crusade.
  • The sick were healed.
  • The lost were found.
  • The prodigals came back.
  • Provision came.
  • There was even a season when we would literally chase the demon-possessed so they can be freed in Jesus name.

For the past 35 years of life, I seen and can prove that the Bible is alive and nothing is impossible through the Blood of the Lamb. I have personally witness His reality. I studied and stay in Germany for 7 months without spending any from my own pocket. I personally heard His audible voice. He gave us twins even if we don’t have any genetic history. Every season of my life, He has proven His power.

Until my Husband got sick…

Where are You Lord?

I thought I had it all figured out.

That I just need to pray and fast. That I just need to confess. That I just need to believe. That I just need to declare. I just need to speak forth His word. I just need to be grateful and testify…

These are all proven methods. Even the Generals do this. I have studied their lives. I have watched their videos, listened to their podcasts and wrote all healing and miracle scripture verses.

But nothing happened…

Yes we would have breakthrough here and there but the main issue is still there. One day, it’s all good then all of a sudden, it’ll crash. We have been in this for 4 months now. We are so desperate of His move, but it seems like He’s far.

He did not completely left us because His provision through other people is there. But how about the healing we’ve seen before? Where is the miracle that we daringly need? We have seen it all before, where it is now?

There are even times when we feel like we’re in our little tribulation moments. That His grace is lifted. That we feel alone. That we feel like He’s not there despite our frantic cries. That we are left with our choice to still believe despite the lost of emotions and what’s tangible.

I guess real faith is not really based on anything in your experience, learning nor feelings but solely holding on to His words believing that He is always good no matter what.

Life through Death

A seed needs to completely die before it can live a new. I am understanding that God is taking us deeper. He is revealing Himself a new. We may have been blind-folded with the past experiences that we put Him in a box. He needs to break the old wineskin so He can pour out new oil.

I have no doubt that my husband will live. Untimely death is just against His nature and heart. We still believe in healing and miracle. We still believe in this God that we serve. We still believe in Jesus!

But the how and when is something we don’t have any idea. God is taking us in this new wave of obedience, That we believe no matter what the situation is.

Because He is never an “I was” or an “I will”. He is the “I am” (present tense). Everyday is an adventure where He leads and we obey in love.

Excited what this adventure unfold…

Face to Face with Depression

Depression is a real demon. It comes cunningly and swift in times misery. It is a dangerous evil spirit that can overtake when one is not careful. Sharing this simple face to face experience with this devil to expose its works and show those under it how to be free in Jesus name.

I got a little depressed

Many of you know that our family is going through challenging times right now. In a previous blog, I shared with you the emotions I have to undergo as a wife whose Husband is battling sickness.

It has been 4 months since this has all started. And somehow in someway, the weight of this all took a toll on me…

Maybe it started with our main Nephrologist said that our only option now is just a kidney transplant. Maybe it came in when I had sleepless nights watching Jay endure a week of fever, weakness, chills, edema and shortness of breathing… I don’t know when it all came to place but I was face to face with depression. I was on the brink of giving in and allowing it to take me to the river of bitterness and disgust.

  • I was always crying.
  • I did not want to call for help.
  • I got tired of asking people’s support: praying, provision.
  • I did not want to eat.
  • I did not want to see anyone.
  • I just wanted to be alone.
  • I did not care what people think.
  • I did not feel like praying nor believing anymore.

It was both awful and tragic to be in. The good thing about it was that I was aware as it was all happening. I was in control. I did not let it in. Thus, before it can overtake me, I opened myself to people for accountability.

Depression’s Entry Points

Depression is real and many people go through this everyday. It comes in everyone’s door when one is not careful. Thus it is important that one will not allow oneself to be under stress, unrest and unstable foundations with God. In my case, I was under so much:

  • Stress – because this has been going on for 4 months and it seems like we’re at the end of the line.
  • Unrest – because we need a lot of money for Jay’s medications, dialysis and other family expenses every week. I had to work double time while managing the home, kids, schedules, etc.
  • Unstable foundations with God – because what worked in my walk with God where I was seeing a lot of healing and miracles is not happening right now. I have to reestablish new foundations with the Lord.

How to Beat Depression

Freedom from depression is at hand. The power of God is available to anyone who calls on His name. But the person who’s experiencing it needs to make a decision that he or she doesn’t want it in his/her life.

Here are the steps I took:

  • Cry it out – Don’t be hypocrite and religious in the eyes of God. Be real. Cry our your frustrations, questions, doubts but always make it a point to still TRUST Him no matter what. David Himself would tell God in his Psalms (Psalm 7; Psalm 27; Psalm 31; Psalm 34; Psalm 52), “Don’t turn Your ear away from me, O God… Don’t hide Your face when I’m distressed.” Cry your heart it. He listens, He understands…
  • Eat and sleep – Yes as simple as that. Since your heart is mostly close for counsel during these times, just rest. Eat your favorite food (don’t pig out). Sleep… A lot. A rejuvenated body is a good cure for the wounded soul.Elijah did the same when he was in a lot of frustrations and fear. All his powerful experiences with God were all forgotten. He was so focused on his situation that he just hid himself under a broom tree. He was amiss.And in that time, the Lord did not condemn him. He send His angels instead to tend on Elijah. All Elijah did was eat “chiffon cakes” and snore his stress away.
  • Decide to get help – Even if you don’t feel like it, you need it. Trust me… The moment I opened up to people, the more I started to process what I was going through and it helped me resolve the deeper issues in my heart. It made me become ready to receive from God again.

I appreciate the people who went out of their way in helping me press through.

Thank you to my Husband for His thoughts of me. Buying me the food that I like. Taking me to a massage. Spending time with me. It helped me a lot.

Thank you Ate Esther Revote for checking on us via text. I cried the whole time that afternoon. It meant a lot Te. Thanks for always giving your life to people no matter what circumstances you’re in. Love you Te.

Thank you to our dear Homegroup for the surprise serenade with food, balloons and flowers. For praying, listening and loving us this much. Thank you for being our family who lifts us up when we’re tired and weary. We love you all so much.

Depression is a real devil. But it is nothing in the light of God love through the embrace of His people.

Be there for someone today! It matters.

 

A Christian View on #LeniLeaks, Trillanes, Impeachment, the Drug war and Destabilization Schemes

A People Destined to His Glory There’s no doubt that revival and reformation is coming to the Philippines. It is our call and destiny. It is an inheritance that was imprinted in our race from the beginning of time. It … Continue reading

The Philippines Born Again under Duterte Administration?

For a century, she was battered and wounded.
She cried.
Longed for love.
Confused of her identity.
Her children slaved all over the world.
Her home broken in every aspect.

Duterte happened and there’s a sense of hope.
Change is here.
Transformation can be at hand.
Her children can rest.
There is restoration!
There is reformation.

Is this a born again experience?
Can the Pearl shine bright again?
Is this the time for her calling?
Is this the time for destiny?
Whatever it maybe,
Nothing is impossible when we pray.

“Who hath heard such a thing? Who hath seen such things? Shall a land be born in one day? Shall a nation be brought forth at once? For as soon as Zion travailed, she brought forth her children.” – Isaiah 66:8 (ASV)

The Philippines’ Spiritual Metamorphosis under the Duterte Administration

Do Not Fret!

Don’t you ever forget that this nation has a call. We may be little and unknown but God has placed a purpose in our race. He has given our people a mandate to bring the Gospel to the Middle East. We have a destiny. And no matter what’s going on today with all the changes happening under the Duterte administration, you have to trust that God has spoken! You have to have faith and stand in His words!

A Remnant

Yes Duterte is strengthening ties with China and Russia. Yes the Philippines is rocketing into an unknown future. These are changes no one expected. There are turns of events no one foresaw.

As people of God, should be we threatened? Should we be panicking to something that’s out of our control? Should we call it not the will of God?

God is looking for a people of faith. A people who will stand in His words. A people who will trust in His ways. Even if it doesn’t make sense…

It Must be God

What is the Philippines that can shake the sense of security of the world? Who are we that the nations would watch what’s going to happen next? Who is Duturte that leaders and institutions of the world are shaken with his stance?

We are supposedly nothing! We are poor and in debt. We don’t have influence and power like the nations with money and nuclear weapons. But why is this all happening? Intellectually speaking, it doesn’t make sense. Spiritually speaking however, it’s clear that this is the time and this is the hour when Filipinos need to rise up in their identity in Christ and walk in that calling and destiny bringing the Light in these darkest parts of the world.

These are not doors human mans closed. These are not doors human hands opened…

Godly Perspective

Yes China and Russia are known communists and persecutors of the gospel. The spirit of fear and intimidation tell us that this is the wrong route. Faith however tells us it’s time to bring these lost brothers back to the Father!

The Russian Ambassador himself said Russia needs the smiles of the Filipinos. They are cold and reserved culture. He acknowledged that there is that sense of joy in the heart of this culture that needs to be shared to Russia.

There is that window of opportunity for the Philippines to influence other nations like never before. Maybe not in silver and gold. But in the name of the God they have been serving for centuries now.

Virtue is the Strongest Weapon

That moment when the whole world stood still and paused. Selah… It is reflecting and reevaluating… Because all of sudden, it is not about the stock market anymore. It is not about territories and armories. Duterte happened and now it’s about virtues and ideals. It’s not about being big or small but being right or wrong. Hypocrisy is exposed. Manipulation and control are highlighted.

When the religious spirit came to accuse Duterte’s “bloody hands”, he then unmasked well-painted tombs where thousands of innocent blood are called “collateral damage”.

Justice is hovering on earth like never before. Where it doesn’t serve the powerful anymore. But those with purity and passion.

David and Goliaths

The Philippines is going through intense spiritual metamorphosis today. It’s messy and chaotic. But the fact that, its internal changes are affecting history boosts my hope that the words He spoke over this nation are slowly being realized. We will bring the gospel back to Jerusalem. We will be a people who will usher the second coming of the King. And it’s not because we have a strong army nor kingly armors. It’ll be because we are a people with covenant with the One True God.

Have faith. Choose to believe. Be a remnant.

MARRIAGE: How to Effectively Change a Husband

Perfect Love with Imperfect Pasts I married a perfect man… NOT! 🙂 He isn’t that all bad either. But we have issues especially in the first few years of our marriage. And it was definitely not because of him alone. Most … Continue reading

How to Live in Miracles

Living in Miracles

I once read an article about the secrets lived by billionaires in order to stay rich. I forgot what the title of the article is, but I remembered that one of the points mentioned there was about being a producer, not a consumer. This concept immediately captivated my heart that I whispered a desire to God, “Lord, make me a producer. Not a consumer.”

To my surprise, God gave me the miracle I asked just days after I prayed. And within a week, I was able to start Filipino Virtual Assistance coaching. I just posted my plans of helping parents and singles start with their online jobs path and a lot were very interested. I planned to start coaching 10 but 20 signed up for the first batch, 6 are already listed for the second batch and 3 for the third! He made me a producer not a consumer in just days! Isn’t that a pure God-thing?

And His favor was incredible. Within 3 days I was able to set up the website, email, and Coaching Lounge. This is on top of still working full time, motherhood, and all the things I normally. I used to be so constricted with time before that I have to schedule everything. But this time, His blessing made it all come to pass.

What a sweet moment. With God, all things are possible indeed.

Breaking into the Miraculous Life

This week I paused to reflect. Why was it so hard before to break through when as Christians, we all have the right recipe for success. We have the blood of Jesus and it is all what we need to flourish. But why is it sometimes hard to live in the desires of our hearts?

I believe that it is because oftentimes we lack character and faith.

Here are some steps for breakthrough.

How to Live in Miracles

1. Persevere – There are some of us who doesn’t press through with challenges. God wants us to be in the place of fulfilment but we are too scared to persevere. We stay as a rough stone and not turn into a diamond or gold because we don’t press through with pressure.

Go through conflicts. It’ll strengthen your spirit and give you boldness to overcome.

2. Work Hard – “Dreams don’t work unless you do.” John C. Maxwell nailed the concept of success through this quote. God loves order, integrity and excellence. A lot of Christians are not living the miraculous life because we are too lazy. We “synonymize” miracle to magic. We think everything’s going to come into place when we say wishes, I mean prayers. Nope. Our declarations will not do it for us if we don’t have the character to back it up. God is not a genie. He’s a Father who give good gifts to His children. As a good Father, He looks at the welfare of our souls. He will not pour out new wine when the wineskin is old or else it’ll break and everything will be a waste.

So learn embrace discipline. Wake up early. Be on time. Eat healthy. Exercise. Make a plan. Be excellent in all your ways. These are just some of the steps you can take to start.

3. Risk – Don’t just stand there and wait for everything to happen on it’s on. Do something. Go for that dream. Make concrete steps. You will not conquer cancer when you don’t go praying for people with cancer. You won’t receive when you don’t give. You won’t see national transformation when you don’t go reach out a community. You won’t perform to millions if you don’t enhance your skills. You need to act and do. And it should be coming from the security, boldness and wisdom you got from the secret place.

We have everything we need through the blood of Jesus. We just need to get to that valley of decision and prophesy. Then ask God to breathe life.

🙂

The Filipino Eye Featured in Philippine Star!

Duterte Likened to Durian

A National Paper Featured my Blog On June 15, 2016, The Philippine Star featured one of the online journals I wrote about our President Rodrigo Duterte. This was the “Duterte Leadership Guide for Dummies” article. The Philippine Star is “a portal of … Continue reading

Revive Asia Conference: Grace’s Thailand Trip Update

To be Powerful Ivy (a daughter in the Lord, whom Jay and I have been mentoring for more than a year now, with 15 plus more in our homegroup, under Maranatha Family Church) and I went to Thailand last May … Continue reading

Duterte Leadership Guide for Dummies

via www.brookings.edu

Note: This is written in the hope of uniting this country in supporting a President many couldn’t fully comprehend. This is a personal opinion out of a personal experience. Smells like hell Mayor Duterte’s leadership is like the Durian fruit … Continue reading